Setting Up a "Safety Net": A Checklist for Long-Distance Caregivers

When you live far away, feeling prepared is half the battle. Use this checklist to build a robust safety net that provides peace of mind for you and support for your parent.

Supporting a parent from another city or state comes with a unique set of worries. You can't just drop by to check on them. This distance can make you feel powerless, but being prepared and organized is the best way to regain a sense of control and ensure your parent has a strong support system in place. For more on the emotional side of this, read our article on supporting parents who live far away.

A "safety net" isn't one single thing—it's a combination of people, information, and tools. Here is a checklist to help you build one.

✔ Step 1: Organize Key Information

In an emergency, you don't want to be scrambling for phone numbers or vital details. Compile this information in a secure, shared digital document or a physical binder that a trusted local contact can access.

• Medical Information: List of doctors, specialists, pharmacy, medications, dosages, and known allergies.
• Legal & Financial: Contacts for lawyer, financial advisor, and location of important documents like power of attorney and will.
• Home & Auto: Information for trusted plumbers, electricians, and mechanics. Include details on spare key locations.

✔ Step 2: Build a Local "Care Circle"

You can't be there, but others can. A Care Circle is a team of people who can provide local support. This is one of the most important things you can do. Learn more about how to build one.

• Identify Key People: This includes neighbors, close friends, siblings, or other relatives who live nearby.
• Create a Shared Contact List: Make sure everyone in the circle has each other's phone numbers. A group text message chain is perfect for quick updates.
• Define Roles (Loosely): Is there a neighbor who is always home and can be the first person to call for a visual check? Is there a sibling who can handle doctor's appointments?

✔ Step 3: Automate the Daily Check-in

The biggest question for a long-distance caregiver is simple: "Are they okay *today*?" Relying on yourself or even a Care Circle to make that call every single day is unrealistic. People get busy, forget, or assume someone else did it. This is the most crucial part of your safety net to automate.

• Implement a Daily Calling Service: A service like Lighthouse Call is designed to be the foundation of your safety net. It provides a reliable, automated call every morning.
• Set Up the Escalation Tree: The service should alert you and your Care Circle in a specific order if a check-in is missed. First, it might call you. If you don't answer, it moves to your sibling, then the trusted neighbor. This ensures a missed call is never a mystery. Read more about understanding the escalation process.

✔ Step 4: Plan for Visits and Communication

• Schedule Regular Visits: If possible, plan trips in advance. These visits are crucial for assessing needs and, more importantly, for connection.
• Set a "Connection" Call Schedule: Your automated check-in handles the safety question. Now you can schedule calls that are just for catching up, free from the "worry checklist." This can dramatically improve your relationship. Learn how to shift from nagging to nurturing.

Building a safety net from a distance is an act of love and organization. By putting these pieces in place, you can spend less time worrying and more time enjoying the relationship you have with your parent, no matter how many miles are between you.